If it’s playing scales, learning tricks to speed-read music, etc., you do it and trust that it will make you more skilled. Maybe part of the problem is not just that people take it very personally, but they also hear a lot of sketchy advice along the way because everyone thinks they’re experts at relationships – heck, even if they’ve never been in one. Evan, I can understand why every once in a while you may feel as though you’re swimming against the current.
The difference between music lessons and dating lessons seems to be that people take the latter too personally, like this guy James. Taking advice too personally and a history of hearing both good and bad advice may be two reasons.
“James” tells me that he’s 30 years old, living in Seattle, working in IT. A little angry, perhaps, but I’m used to getting clients who aren’t too happy with the fact that they’re reaching out to a dating coach.
James tells me that after focusing on his career for most of his 20’s, he’s been dating intently for the past year. It seems that whenever he goes out with women, they’re all so SHALLOW.
And dating coaching isn’t telling you where the “quality” women hang out. And the not-so-subtle reason I shared this story with you is to ask you to reflect on whether you have anything in common with James. Are you frustrated that men don’t take the time to get to know you?
After 12 weeks of coaching with me, you know who’s going to be the same? As such, the ONLY thing we can do is change how YOU’RE approaching dating. ” James paused for a second, gritted his teeth, and said, “I don’t want to change very much. Do you get bent out of shape when men IGNORE you online, DON’T FOLLOW UP after dates, and generally seem to want the PERFECT woman?
“We were thinking only of Dartmouth,” says Kurtz, its surviving co-creator.
(Kemeny died in 1992.) “We needed a language that could be ‘taught’ to virtually all students (and faculty) without their having to take a course.” Their brainchild quickly became the standard way that people everywhere learned to program computers, and remained so for many years.
Especially the multiple versions of the language produced by a small company named Microsoft.
It’s led to educational initiatives as effortless sounding as the Hour of Code (offered by Code.org) and as obviously ambitious as Code Year (spearheaded by Codecademy). Last December, he issued a You Tube video in which he urged young people to take up programming, declaring that “learning these skills isn’t just important for your future, it’s important for our country’s future.” I find the “everybody should learn to code” movement laudable.
And yet it also leaves me wistful, even melancholy.
I enjoy working with guys because, when they’re motivated, they’re hardworking and highly coachable.
Plus, the men who gravitate towards me are usually “nice guys” who just need a little bit of an edge to succeed wildly with women.