I’ve only done this twice before: once, in a post defending Lori Gottlieb’s “Marry Him,” and a second time, in a post explaining my opposition to Rori Raye’s “Circular Dating.” These were the only two times that I remember being equally frustrated at how something was being misconstrued that I needed to take an hour and go through a bullet point by bullet point dissection of my original thesis.Now I know that writing this is not going to change a thing. First of all, here was the premise of my original post: “You want to find out if a man is serious about you? If you don’t – because you’re a liberated woman who can have sex whenever you damn well please – don’t be too surprised if a decent percentage of those men never call again.Understand, if a guy is really into you after 3 dates, you can both agree to give a relationship a shot and have sex.I’ve done that a number of times – where I was so whipped that I dove into an exclusive sexual relationship right away.Therefore, it’s wise to take your love life seriously at a younger age, and make smart compromises when you have the most attention from the largest pool of high quality men. “Sex doesn’t keep any man who doesn’t want to be kept. If he isn’t marriage-minded, it makes little difference.” Mostly correct.If you don’t want to get married, if you don’t want to have kids, and if you would rather be alone than make any compromises, Ms. Alas, it wildly misinterprets what I was suggesting.If you expect that only “appropriate” men will write, you’ll be disappointed.If you think that just because you had a great date that you’re in a relationship, you’ll be disappointed. ” And so the answer to that is to sleep with them, expect nothing, communicate by text, and take your chances that you both decide a relationship is viable? If you’re an intern who can’t call regularly, has given no indication that you’re looking for commitment, and refuse to wait a couple of extra weeks before having sex, my clients don’t want you working at their company.
Sexual compatibility is one of many factors you’ll have to consider in determining your future.Gottlieb’s advice is completely “wrong.” No it’s not.If you’re a woman who wants to have her own biological children, you have more options when you’re in your early 30’s than you do in your early 40’s.“EMK’s advice seems unrealistic for anyone not wearing a promise ring.” Actually, it’s quite realistic.If you think she’s playing games to “catch” you, then nothing I can do will convince you.