Stay focused on the kids.” And, as the saying goes, know how to pick and choose your battles.“If you’re splitting your kids’ time between you, remember that what happens at your ex’s house is up to him or her, and what happens at your house is up to you, unless it’s a safety issue,” she says.“That creates a culture of immediate gratification, unwillingness to compromise, and objectification.We fool ourselves into thinking people, sex, or companionship is a message away—and relationships are, of course, a little harder than that.” As an alternative, Dr.And let’s not forget that I’m just a theme song word for word, but couldn’t for the life of me name ONE song from Kanye’s latest album. I mean, if I can manage to balance everything life throws my way while parenting an infant at my young age, I can certainly handle dating. Still, to sharpen my skills before heading into the trenches, I asked a few experts for advice on navigating the dating scene as a single 20-something mom. Sure, it used to seem like great fun to get tipsy and swipe right on potential hookups less than 10 miles away—20, if he or she is really hot—but apps like Tinder are more likely to land just that: A hookup and not a serious dating candidate.“Swiping apps shouldn’t be your screening process for dates,” says Dr.
“Parents don’t always realize that when you go through a breakup, your child goes through it, too,” Dr. Silva says you should also consider how involved your partner will be willing to be after meeting your child.
Not to mention that in the rare and precious moments I do have to myself, it feels like a major risk to spend that time with someone I might never see again rather than catching up with friends, reading, zoning out to Netflix, or, you know, sleeping.
The men I’d normally take an interest in are often just starting their careers, still in undergrad, or staying out until 3AM every chance they get—whereas I’m living the opposite lifestyle, and as a party of two, not one. In spite of this barrage of challenges, I still have hope.
“Well-meaning friends and family often can’t help but offer cautionary tales and unsolicited advice, projecting their own fears onto your new relationship,” she continues.
“This can confuse you and add unnecessary tension with your mate.” Same goes for a spat with an ex (or your child’s father) on social media: “Don’t post anything negative on social media, since nothing good can come of it, especially now that you have a child to worry about.” says Dr. “Take the high road and let it go.” Knowing when to introduce a love interest to your child can be really tough, but when in doubt, wait it out.